Coaching May Be Different from What You Are Used to. . .
The Coaching Relationship
Coaching may be new for many people, and others may have experienced it in their workplace or some other venue. The singular difference for a dharma-inspired practice is that Buddhist coaching helps you realize your full potential in the world, while maintaining the highest integrity of your moral and spiritual dedication.
From this point of view, the responsibilities of the world are not seen as hindrances, and one's spiritual practice and resources are seen as invaluable aids towards living energetically and dynamically in the world, with heart, intelligence, ethics, and lightness of spirit.
As your coach, my task is to help you with this balance and harnessing of energies. As coach I help you get very clear about your goals, and help you align all of the realms of your psyche — your physical, emotional, mental, ethical, and spiritual energies — towards a specific purpose, whether it is cultivating a loving relationship, being the best parent you can be, stepping up to leadership, unlocking your creative expression, or any of the many other facets of living a full and generous human life.
And when you hit a wall, or your energy flags, or you doubt yourself, I am there to help, as skillfully as I can, reminding you of your innermost wisdom, compassion, and skillful means.
It is different from therapy in many ways, not least of which is the kind of one-up, one-down, hierarchy of psychotherapy, where the clinician is the 'expert,' and assesses your mental health, and the client is the 'patient,' looking up towards the shrink for guidance and validation. Too often, especially in conventional psychology practices, there is this dualism, of the expert vs. the patient, and too often the client feels judged and labelled.
The Coaching Arrangement
I believe the best results come about when client and coach agree to work together for a minimum of three to six months. Of course, life happens, there are interruptions, radical changes in a person's life, or a goal is achieved in more rapid fashion. But generally what has proven to be the most effective in the coaching experience is to work in three to six month increments, stop, assess progress, and then re-commit or complete the process.
First Tier of Service. We typically meet on the phone, Skype, or in person, three times a month, and do follow-up emails in between sessions to keep up-to-date on progress.
Second Tier. When a client requests a more intense engagement in the process, when they have the energy and the resources to work more energetically towards a specific goal, I offer a second-tier protocol. This can entail longer or more frequent sessions, the possibility of a personality assessment process, referrals to specific specialists, and assignments that challenge the client to go deeper into a mindful investigation of their obstacles.
The Contract
Your Role as the Client. As in all coaching contracts, we stipulate that this process is not therapy, nor does the coach offer any legal or financial advice. Other typical agreements as in most professional contracts apply, such as giving 24-hour notice, and so on.
My Role as the Coach. We agree that the coaching process is completely confidential unless you as the client request that elements of your discovery be shared with other people, such as a doctor, therapist, astrologer, family member, etc. One other small stipulation is that I do request testimonials when the client feels that the engagement has been helpful.
Individually Tailored. The contract will specify how many sessions over a month, the duration of the contract, frequency of email contacts, a reflective summary of the goals and take-aways that you have at the end of each session, and so on.
The Challenge. My clients and I usually begin with a questionnaire where I ask you to step outside your comfort zone and imagine what it would be like to face your doubts, fears, lack of awareness, laziness, etc., from a place beyond ego. This questionnaire will help me get a sense, before we even begin our first session, of where you are now, and where you would like to be.